Broken
by justastudent996
Summary: Anything that's broken can be fixed. It just takes time and love from the one person who can make you whole again. And love can come from the most unexpected places.
1. You're Safe

**Okay, this is my first Hayffie fic so please go easy on me. The whole story is set during and after Mockingjay...**

**Disclaimer: Suzanne Collins owns the Hunger Games Trilogy and it's characters, not me. If I owned it Hayffie would be canon**

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Effie's POV

How long has it been? Hours? Days? Months? Years? It feels like I've been kept here since the beginning of time. Why would they do this to me? I'm a Capitol citizen and I have obeyed their every whim and command since birth, except maybe for answering questions regarding the rebellion.

It was pretty obvious that Haymitch, Cinna and the victors of the other districts kept something from Katniss, Peeta and me. I don't know much about details but I do know that they've planned this. I was torn at first but then I felt betrayed by my own home- I have done everything for the Capitol and I was willing to do more but they tortured me and asked me questions that has answers that will surely endanger the few people that I truly saw as friends.

This whole rebellion is absurd. Peeta is right; another war will only result in more chaos, destruction and casualties. It's true that the Capitol was unfair in the treatment of the other citizens but is this uprising truly worth it? But then again, I have not experienced the sufferings of the districts so who am I to judge? But still- it's me who is now suffering and it is at the cost of a rebellion that I was never truly and never want to be a part of.

I just want it all to end. I want my life to end. I just can't take it anymore. Sometimes they would soak me, then they send electric currents through my body-momentarily stopping my heart but it never stopped for good. No, life is too merciless for that to happened. At other times they would tie me against a pole then they flogged my back for a few times. Sometimes they would also rub coarse salt crystals against my gory back which only adds more suffering. My body can't take it much longer.

The psychological torture is even worse. From my cell I can hear cries of agony from the other prisoners. I can hear it clearly from my cell and their methods of torture is then left to my own graphic imagination. Other times my own torturers would graphically tell me about how they treat the others or they will make me watch executions and tortures. Peeta tends to cry out Katniss' name. It is evident that he loves her more than anything. It's not fair for them; just like me they weren't informed or warned at least. They were just unlucky to be dragged into this.

I can't take it anymore! I have to die. I laid myself on the hard concrete floor and waited for my own death. I then heard the cell door open then I heard a familiar voice calling my name.

"Effie? Effie is that you?" It was Haymitch I think. There was concern in his voice. I heard his footsteps approaching then I felt a hand touch my shoulder.

"What have they done to you?"

I turned around to face him "Oh, Haymitch is that you? Y-you're sober."

"Yeah, dang District 13! They banned liquors! Now, c'mon let's get you out of here." He grabbed a key from his pocket then one by one he unlocked the restrains on my hands and feet. This is just too good to be true. Is it possible that they have won? Is the suffering finally going to end?

He helped me to stand up. I held onto his arms for support then I attempted to stand. My knees still felt weak and I was having a hard time supporting my own weight. I felt like a toddler attempting to walk for the first time. My legs eventually gave into weeks of torture as I felt myself collapsing. But he quickly grabbed a hold of me then he helped me sit against the concrete wall. He kneeled in front of me then he brushed off the stray hairs pressed against my face. I shuddered at his touch.

"You alright?"

I didn't answer him. I couldn't even stand! I never felt this weak before. I am so fragile, so defenseless, so useless. I tried to suppress the tears that were forming in my eyes but to no avail. I tried to stop myself from crying but it was useless so I cried harder because holding back is now useless.

He moved closer then I felt his arms circle around me. I leaned against his shoulder; taking in the warmth of his embrace.

"I-I n-never felt s-so w-weak b-before..." I said in between sobs.

"Shhh, I know... Don't worry. You're safe now... You're safe..."

I buried my head deeper into his shoulders, then I tightened my hold of him. I was afraid that he would disappear if I let go; that I would be questioned and tortured again. I don't want to be alone.

"Oh Effie you're shaking... What has the blasted Capitol done to you."

"T-they t-ortured me... I-I don't want to t-talk about it... I-I'm weak Haymitch. I'm weak..."

"If you don't want to talk about it that's fine. And you're not weak. You're strong." He stated.

"N-no I'm not. J-just look at m-me. I-I'm a mess."

"You knew about my plan, didn't you Effie?" He asked. His voice had a serious tone but it also has hints of concern.

"Y-yes, b-but not the details..." I replied. He will most likely get mad at me. He tried to keep the rebellion a secret from us but he knows that I found him out; that I knew of his plans.

"You didn't tell them anything." he said it as a statement and not as a question.

"That's what makes you strong Effie, and please don't think otherwise." He's right. I didn't disclose any information despite what they have put me through. I guess I am strong but I am also broken. I don't know what will fix me; maybe time, maybe friends, but I do know that I do need fixing and I need it badly.

"T-thank you..." I said.

We didn't converse any further. He held me closer as he wiped off my tears with his sleeve. I took in his warmth and his scent; it was comforting. After a while I managed to stop crying. I buried my face onto his chest, then I felt his hand playing with my hair.

"I never knew you were blonde. Beautiful golden locks, such a shame you always hide this under those scruffy wigs." He teased, obviously trying to lighten up the mood.

"Why? Are you jealous of my hair, Mr. Abernathy?" I teased him in return.

"Ha! In your dreams princess!" He laughed so loud that the people in the other rooms could probably hear him.

"Haymitch, you're manners are appalling!"

"See? Back to your old self, eh princess?" I rolled my eyes.

"Just tell me when you're ready to get out of here or when you're ready to release me." I couldn't tell if his last statement was another joke or if he was serious. I think I am just too exhausted to care. I closed my eyes, then I let peace take over me.

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**Okay, I honestly changed 4th paragraph because I thought it was too graphic. If you guys want to read my original plan then be my guest but the descriptions made me ****squeamish, but I don't know about you so anyways:**

**I just want it all to end. I want my life to end. I just can't take it anymore. Sometimes they would soak me in water- sometimes it hot enough to cause burns and at other times it's so cold that it can give a person hypothermia , then they send electric currents through my body-momentarily stopping my heart but it never stopped for good. No, life is too merciless for that to happened. At other times they would tie me against a pole then they flogged my back for several times; The ends of the whip would hit my bare back leaving marks of blood, flesh and gore. It would embed itself into my flesh sending pain and agony. Sometimes they would also rub coarse salt crystals against my gory back which only adds more suffering. My body can't take it much longer.**

**Anyways, please review **


	2. A New Beginning

**Okay, 2nd Chapter is out now...**

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Effie's POV

I opened my eyes and found myself laying in a white bed in a white room filled with hospital equipment. The scent of disinfectant fills the cold air, giving it that eerie hospital feel. I wrapped the thin covers tighter around my body; keeping the cold away.

I then heard sounds coming from the outside-voices. They were barely audible but I still managed to make out what they were saying.

"She was captured, she's not siding with the Capitol." said a voice. It was familiar, I think I have heard it from somewhere before.

"Yeah, she was tortured too you know, but still she didn't give them any info." said another familiar voice. I know this one- it was Haymitch.

"Alright then. She will be spared... _for now."_ the third voice was that of a female and it was unfamiliar. The way she said for now made me shiver, I just don't like the sound of "for now".

I then felt aching on my head, back and limbs. I feel much better now compared to what I felt back in my jail cell but I'm still exhausted and I worry for my life. The woman's voice has a tone that is both annoyed and unforgiving. I could be send into another jail cell and I would be subjected to another streak of tortures and pain. It is also possible that I will be executed and the third option is for me to be spared, which is most ideal.

I'm a Capitol citizen so I guess they have a right to distrust me. But I didn't side with them, neither did I side with the Capitol. I was stuck in neutral territory. But if they will spare me, I'll be loyal to the new government and help it develop in any way that I can. It is a sign of gratitude to them from me.

Sleep then came to me and for a brief moment I felt safe and relax once again.

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I woke up feeling refreshed and wonderful. I felt great and happy again, I can't wait to get out of this room and return to the outside world but I'll have to get dressed in my fashionable dresses, then I'll have to cover myself up with the brightly colored make up and put on one of my wigs. I need to look my best when I face the world once again. Oh I'm just so excited!

"Oh, Good morning sunshine! Did you have a nice rest princess?" He said in his usual joking tone. I guess the nice sober Haymitch that rescued me from the prison is gone and is replaced by this drunk and obnoxious man.

"Well, I certainly feel a lot better than I did back at the jail cell."

"Good, because you'll be imprisoned again." He said with a smirk on his face. I couldn't tell if he was joking or if he was serious.

"What?"

"Just kidding. Capitol citizens will be executed. Happy dying!" He then gave out a loud laugh that can probably heard throughout the building before drinking more of that awful substance. Why is he so happy about this? Death is no laughing matter! Was he also joking back at the jail cell; he looked genuinely concerned at the time. Maybe it's just the alcohol. He should stop drinking those horrendous substances.

"Are you serious?"

"You better believe it sweetheart! You will be spit-roasted in front of an audience till you're a nice golden brown. Then you'll be fed to the cannibals. just look at that ass, it's so big it can feed a whole tribe." he smirked at me. Okay, now I know he's joking. Only an insane person would do that. That Haymitch Abernathy will always try to get on my nerves! He's the most disgusting, impolite, appalling, immature person that I have ever met.

"It's not funny Haymitch! I really thought that you were serious. And it's not nice to insult a lady in such a way."

"Oh it's funny alright! And Effie, since when were you a lady?" He said before raising the bottle to his lips to take another swig of alcohol. Oh, how I would love to get that thing away from him.

"Since forever, and would it kill you to be nice?" I said.

"No, it's just that I chose not to." He gulped more of the disgusting substance until the bottle was empty, he then threw it behind his shoulder; small glass shards were scattered across the floor.

"Clean that up now!" I said. I just couldn't stand seeing such messes and what if I'm the one who gets blamed for his dreadful actions. This man only thinks of himself, he is such a child- a stupid drunk child!

"No, I will not _clean that up now!"_ he made this horrible impersonation of my accent.

"It's very impolite to mock the way a person talks you know?"

"Awww, relax sweetheart. You do know that I was just joking about the spit roasting thing right? You're fine now okay; safe and sound."

I glared at him then I turned at the other direction. It's impolite to kick him out but I really don't want to see him right now.

I then remembered Katniss and Peeta. I know they rescued Peeta but how is he feeling right now? Did they manage to cure him of his hijacking? And what will poor Katniss feel. I bet it will hurt her just as much as it hurts Peeta. I do hope that they are both in a better condition than me.

"Is Katniss and Peeta alright?" I asked. I just have to know about their situation.

"They're fine now. They just got a little burnt during a mission, that's all."

"Okay, that's good. I just wish I can show these people my gratitude for sparing my life and taking care of the kids." I whispered. It wasn't really directed to him. I was just speaking to myself.

"There is a way for you to help."

"What?" I asked him. I must really return their kindness. It's rude not to.

"Katniss has made a deal with Coin you see? She agreed to become the mocking jay on a number of conditions: one, those captured by the Capitol will be pardoned, two, she gets to hunt and lastly she kills Snow herself, so you're job now is to organize Katniss' schedule and make sure she follows it. Are you okay with that?" He said.

"Of course! I'll do anything to help the cause." I couldn't help but smile. It is good to know that I am of use once again.

"Well, get up and get dressed. Go to the meeting hall when you're ready. You'll receive the schedule there."

"Alright then"

I got up from bed then I folded the covers and placed it neatly on top of the bed. I then walked to the bathroom but before I even got to the door he slapped me on the bottom. I gave him a scowl. How dare he? He's so ungentlemanly!

"You take care of that ass, okay princess. I'll be at the meeting hall." He said as he exited the room. How rude!

I glanced back at the room before closing the door. I saw the mess that Haymitch left. What a drunk! I then immediately closed the door. It will just make me angry.

I drew a bath then I stripped off my clothing and I inspected myself on the mirror. My physical appearance remains unchanged except for a few scars on my back but that can me easily covered by clothing. After that I stepped inside the bathtub and I let the warm water soothe the remaining aches and pains.

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After fixing Katniss' schedule I went to her room to meet up with her. She was still in the bath so I went over the schedule; making sure that everything is going according to plan. I then saw the bathroom doors opening and Katniss and her prep team emerged from it.

"Effie." she says. She looked both surprised and happy to see me.

"Hello Katniss." I gave her a smile then I stood up and kissed her on the cheek. I want to make it seem that nothing has happened. I know that we both had a hard time during the rebellion. Sometimes it's just better to forget.

"Well, it looks like we've got another big, big, big day ahead of us. So why don't you start your prep and I'll just pop over and check on the arrangements." I said as I headed to the door.

"Okay." I heard her reply.

Well, it's good to know that she's alright now. I do hope that things will get better. it will be hard for me to forget all those weeks of torture but I do believe that anything that's broken can be fixed, even a person.


	3. Attack of the Geese

**Note: I skipped the assassination of Coin and Katniss' trial. Anyways, I forgot to mention this but the ending of the 2nd chapter are excerpts that actually came from the book itself. Please review okay, I'm not really a good writer so any kind of advice/criticism is much appreciated. I also need to work on my grammar, and I need to give more emotions to my writing plus I need to make it more "poetic" and deep. Argh, what's happening to me? I used to make the best compositions in class but now it's atrocious T_T, well not really but I am sort of loosing my touch. Anyways, you guys aren't here to read about my self-pity, you're here to read the rest of the story so...**

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Effie's POV

It's been 3 months since I last saw my friends from District 12. In those three months I tried to move on and continue my pre-2nd uprising life but it's not just the same. That part of my life is gone and the only thing that's left are the memories. Some are good, most are bad but still they were a vital part of my life and I'll keep holding on to them no matter what.

But it felt like I've been living a lie since the day that I was born. I felt used and betrayed. I knew of the suffering of the other districts. I never wished for them to suffer but I did feel lucky back then. That's why I never dared to disobey them, I was scared of the Capitol. I indulged myself in all of the luxuries that life could offer me, it's a way to forget the depression all around me. It's true that I am now free, the new government is fair and just compared to the old one but I just can't recover from the Capitol's betrayal. I also felt confused, I guess I was confused back then as well but now I am truly lost and broken for I do not know Effie Trinket anymore.

I am but a mere shadow of my past self. I have changed; that much I know. It's hard to make out what we should be and who we are, so who am I and what should I do? Who should I become? Do I still have a place in this world or am I now without purpose? Am I now living a life that's meaningless?

I do know that the Capitol-the place where I was tortured and subjected to pain. It's the place where I spiraled down into the dark abyss of agony and suffering. That is not the right place for me to heal and find the light again. I know that District 12 isn't really my home but maybe, just maybe that is the place where I'll find my sanctuary and one day I might just call it my home.

I know that it will take time for me to belong here but I do believe that the people of district 12 will be accepting and friendly. I toned down my clothes and make up a little bit just to make it easier for them.

I went down the train and saw Peeta and Katniss comming to greet me. Haymitch is no where to be seen.

"It's good to see you again Effie. We've missed you." said Peeta. Katniss and Peeta then hugged me tightly. How I missed them.

"So what made you moved into District 12?" Peeta asked.

"Well, I really don't want to talk about it right now. I'll tell you when the time is right."

"That's okay Effie. You need time to heal. You can stay at my place while you're getting ready for your move if you like." said Katniss.

"Thank you dear. That's awfully nice of you."

"Here I'll help you carry your luggage." he said as he lifted some of my bags.

"Thank you Peeta."

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Katniss' house is a pretty good place to stay in for a while. She gave me a room that has it's own bathroom. She's a really good girl, her manners needs a little work but nevertheless she is rather nice.

I unpacked all of my belongings, then I explored the house for a little while-just to get acquainted with the place. This is my life now, I must move on. I know I can do this, I just have to let go.

I decided to take a stroll around the district- get to know a few people maybe. Most of the damage that was done to the district has been repaired already. It's good to know that the people of District 12 are starting a new life. I do hope that everything goes well for them.

After a little while I decided to go back to Katniss' home. I took a rather long walk so I'm pretty exhausted. A hot meal and a nice long nap will do good for me.

I passed by the entrance of Victor's village when a saw a small little gosling. The little fella has small shiny black eyes and it's lemon yellow feathers were fluffed up. The little guy was just so adorable. I would want to keep him as a pet but the poor owner must be worried sick about the little guy. I picked the bird up and held it gently in my hands. After walking a few blocks I noticed a house with a yard full of geese. I noticed that the fence was broken- that would explain how some of the geese escaped.

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Author's POV

After walking for a few blocks Effie saw a house with a yard full of geese and a broken fence. She walked towards the fenced area and gently placed the small gosling to the ground, unknowingly a big fat goose got a hold of her wig. She looked up to see what has been tugging on her head and without thinking she chased after the goose.

She unknowingly ran deeper into the fenced yard and the next thing she knew, she was trapped in a corner surrounded by geese. Well, at least she managed to get a hold of her wig. The geese started to close upon her. Terrified Effie backed up and yelped in fright.

"What's with all the yelling out here?" Haymitch called out as he walked to the yard with a bottle of liquor.

"HELP! The geese!" Effie was really terrified. Those geese looked angry and she is sure that they will not hesitate to attack and bite her.

"Effie? Effie Trinket?"

"Yes, it's me. Now can you please get these birds to leave me alone!" She replied.

Haymitch smirked at her and stifled a laugh. "Okay, I'll get you out of there princess."

"Oh thank goodness!"

"After I get a video cam to record this priceless moment." he added. Haymitch then hurried back inside his house to get his camera.

"HAYMITCH ABERNATHY!" Effie screamed.


	4. Haymitch's Past

**Okay 4th chapter. Please review**

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Haymitch's POV

After all of that ruckus I invited Effie over. She looks extremely pissed, not that I care. I grabbed hold of the camera then replayed the chaos from earlier. Effie Trinket being attacked by a bunch of geese, now that's hilarious.

"Hey princess! Come and see this; it's comedy gold!" I angled the camera's screen towards her so she can see how foolish she looked. I'm going to show this to Peeta and Katniss as well; they can use a good laugh. Effie turned her head around so that she doesn't have to see the video. She's really upset, alright. Can't that woman take a joke?

"That's just mean Haymitch!"

"No it's funny! Just look at you..." I smirked at her then I moved the camera closer to her face. She scowled at me then she gripped the edge of the table so tight that her knuckles started to become white. Man, is she mad at me. But I do love to annoy the crap out of her. Oh well, too bad..._for her_

"That's it. Give me that!" exclaimed Effie as she reached out to grab the camera. Luckily, I got it away from her just in time. I stood up then I placed the camera above her head. She stretched both of her hands up and jumped but she still couldn't reach it. She can't really jump very high with those heels. She looked so funny- like a pink penguin that's doing tricks.

"Reach high sweetheart!" I mocked her, much to her annoyance.

"Haymitch Abernathy! You insensitive drunk!" She screamed. That kinda hurt. I'm not that insensitive. I was just fooling around, sheesh.

"Let's not go there Effie..." She looked absolutely flustered. She was red with rage and it looks like she wants to eat me up. I think I might have gone too far. I tried to calm her down but she continued to throw insults at me.

"You sir, are an unfeeling, good-for-nothing drunkard! You never cared about anyone or anything. No wonder you're all alone in the world! NOBODY LOVES YOU!" Her words hit me straight in the heart. Does she even know the pain that I went through? The Capitol's torture didn't end with the games. No, they killed off my loved ones. The old memories started to flood my brains. It's too painful, I don't want to be reminded, I want to forget- I don't want to suffer anymore. I don't want to FEEL THE AGONY! NO! I don't want to...

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Effie's POV

"You know nothing Effie..." his tone was sad, distant and serious. I have never seen him so serious and upset before. I tried to say something, to apologize but he cut me off.

"You thought that after my games, everything will be good and well. I got to live in luxury but I wasted everything on alcohol. No, that's not the case Effie. My mother, my little brother and my girl- they were all killed because of the stunt I pulled back at the arena. That's why I'm alone! That's why I don't want to love or be loved! I don't want to get hurt again, okay?" He's crying now. I knew he suffered after his games but I would've never thought that his alcohol problem was because of that, I have always thought that he wanted to forget the games itself and our poor dead tributes.

"Haymitch I-" he cut me off once again.

"That's why I turned to alcohol. It makes me forget, even if it's just for a little while. You suffered too Effie! You know how much it hurts right? We're both broken... and I thought you would understand!" I know, it does hurt... This is all my fault, I have taken it too far. I stabbed him in the place where it hurts the most. I'm such a horrible person...

"I'm sorry... I didn't know..."

"Well, you do now!" He placed the camera on top of the table, he then sat on the couch. He buried his face in his hands and wept silently. I sat down next to him and patted him on the shoulder. I want to comfort him, the way that he comforted me back at the prison.

Oh my goodness! I have forgotten all about that. He was my sanctuary at that time. He let me cry on his shoulder, he cared for me and this is how I show I show my thanks. I must make it up to him somehow...

"I'm really sorry Haymitch. I'll do anything to make you feel better. I swear." He shrugged my hand off him then he turned to face me.

"What can you do? You can't bring them back... Just leave me alone, okay Effie?" He said before walking back into his room.

He just needs time- I said to myself.

I looked around his house and it was dirtier than I thought. Maybe a clean atmosphere will help him heal. You know what they say, tidiness is next to godliness. Maybe a nice hot meal will do him good as well...

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Haymitch's POV

I woke up to this epic hangover. My head really hurts. I walked out of my room and saw that the whole place has been cleaned out. The entire place was spotless, it's just like new. I then noticed a nice hot meal laid out on my dining room table. It consists of a nice thick soup, a plate of pasta and garlic bread and a slice of cheesecake. I happily ate the meal, then I noticed a piece of paper.

It turned out to be a note written on a girly scented pink-colored paper. Ugh, this thing is taking out the manliness of my house. This must be from Effie then. Now I remember, I had a fight with her earlier today. I looked down the note and I tried to make out the words from her intricate script handwriting.

_Dear Haymitch,_

_ I am truly sorry for the things that I have said and the way that I acted earlier. It was uncalled for. I should have been more sensitive to your feelings; I was being self-centered. I didn't know that I could bring back such memories and hurt you._

_To try and make up for it I cleaned your house and prepared you a meal. I hope that you will enjoy it. I know this isn't enough for the damage that I have caused to you but I do hope that we will be in good terms again. If you need anything, I'm here for you._

_You were right, we are both broken but I do believe that anything that's broken can be fixed. We'll be whole again when the time comes... Don't give up okay?_

_-Effie_

I felt something after reading Effie's letter. It felt weird but it felt nice too so it's not really that bad. She's right, I can still be fixed... but I'm not fixed yet. I think I need to have a drink

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**Haymitch is hard to POV -_- I think he's a little out of character in this chapter. Anyways, I will try to improve. Your reviews are much appreciated ^_^**


	5. We Could be Friends

**My reign of crackfic terror is not yet over. I just took a break from it. Anyways, after giving it much thought-after this story is completed will be the longest story I have written in my whole entire life -_-. Seriously, the plot is long**

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Effie's POV

I stayed with Katniss for a couple of days before moving in to my new home, which happens to be pretty close to theirs. The new mayor was nice enough to permit me to buy one of the houses from the Victor's Village. In fact, he plans on selling them which is a rather great idea; we can't allow such beautiful houses to remain stagnant now, can we?

I walked out into the balcony and took in a breath full of air. District 12 is rather low compared to my usual standards but I guess it will do. I even live in Victor's village-so close to my friends which is one of the reasons that I moved in here in the first place. The other reason was to forget...

I went back inside the house and I started preparing for my supper. I prepared a nice and refreshing garden salad then I placed my lamb stew on medium heat. I spend 2 years of my life trying to perfect this recipe and it was well worth it. The lamb would now always become tender but firm enough to retain it's shape, the flavors are also well-balanced. I was really proud of this dish.

While I was reducing the stew I heard my doorbell rang. That's either Katniss or Peeta, I'm not very well-acquainted with the people here. I turned the knob to low heat then I rushed to the door. I was a little surprised to see him. I thought he was still mad at me.

"Haymitch."

"Hello Effie. It's nice to see you again. I see that you've settled in nicely..." he gave a slight smile. I guess he has forgiven me.

"Yes, Peeta and Katniss helped me unpack actually." I said. I haven't got a lot of things, I left most of my possessions in the Capitol. I was really miserable about leaving them there at first but I thought that I should travel light and I guess it will be a lot harder for me to move on if I bring a lot.

"Good, I was just passing by and I thought that I would check on you..." H-he checked on me? I was really mistaken about him. I thought he couldn't care less about me but then again he always seems to be my comfort zone when something goes wrong. I would certainly consider him as a friend but he can be downright annoying most of the time.

"Oh where are my manners? Please come in, come in." we walked inside , then I directed him in the dining hall.

"Dinner will be ready in a minute." I announced as I returned to the kitchen.

I reduced the stew for a couple more minutes , then I added some more seasonings until it has achieved that perfect well-balanced delicate flavor. I then placed the stew in a serving bowl and placed it on top of my mahogany dining table.

We started to eat. I then felt that I was being watched. I glanced at Haymitch and saw that he's not eating; he was just staring at me.

"Why? Is there something wrong?" I asked.

"No, it's just that... There's another reason why I came here to see you Effie..." Another reason? What could it be. We never really talked that much...

"What is it?" I asked.

"We had a heated argument the other day." he reminded me.

"I know. I really am sorry..." I looked down, I tried to avoid his gaze. I feel ashamed and I really thought that he has forgiven me but I guess I was wrong. It will take some more time, I guess.

"It's okay! Really! I've forgiven you..." he said.

"Oh, thank you..."

I continued to eat and I noticed that Haymitch also did the same. I directed my attention back to the food. We were both quiet for a few moments but then he broke the silence

"We could be friends you know..." says Haymitch. I have already considered him as a friend but his statement somewhat surprised me. I guess he really is different when he's sober.

"I have already considered you as a friend Haymitch." I looked up and met his gaze. There was some sort of spark in his eyes. I guess he was happy to know that.

"That's good. Can I still insult ya?" he smirked at me and for the third time today Haymitch Abernathy has caught me off guard. I really can't understand him at times.

"I-I think so... But please in moderation okay?" I guess I still owe him and I really don't want to have another argument.

"Okay, whatever you say princess. This is a great stew by the way."

I uttered him a thank you, then we both continued to eat. After dinner, we talked about the happenings in District 12. He informed me about some of the friendly citizens and those that I should try to avoid: Greasy Sae prepares the best soups and is rather friendly, Delly Cartwright is a happy-go-lucky girl that sees only the good in people, and such others. He also informed me on where to buy food, drinks, clothes and other basic needs.

"So princess, where's the booze?" Haymitch asks me. This obviously isn't the best time to get drunk. My house is spotless and I don't want to get any stains on the carpeted surface.

"I'm not giving you any." I stated matter-of-factly.

"But you do have some right?"

"Haymitch, you're going to get stains on the expensive carpet."

"What if it's for take out?" he smiled at me. He really wants alcohol but I really don't have any plus I want him to stop consuming those substances.

"I really don't have any..."

"Well, that really sucks!" he exclaimed.

"You should really lay off the alcohol, you know." I stated. I know it's his comfort zone but it's ruining his life just the same. Plus, I'm worried about his health.

"But I am. For your information I've only drank 4 bottles of booze today, instead of my usual 10" he bragged.

"Well, that's a start I guess."

"Anyways, its getting late. I best get going. Thanks for the meal by the way; best stew I ever had!" It would seem that he really did enjoy my stew. He finished 3 whole servings. I'm really glad that he likes my cooking. I wonder what Katniss and Peeta would think of it.

"Okay, no more drinking for tonight okay?" I told him. It was for his own good anyway.

"I'll think about it" he smirked. Obviously when he said "I'll think about it" he meant "no, I'll drink more of it".

"Haymitch!" I glared at him.

"Okay, okay! I won't. Happy?"

"Very." I smiled in triumph. I'm just hoping that he meant that.

I walked him to the door then we said our goodbyes. My new life is starting out quite nicely.

* * *

**Okay, I hope you guys liked this. Please R/R. Thank you **


	6. Peeta's Bakery

**Okay, this fic has 2 parts: the main plot and some random hayffie moments. **

* * *

Haymitch's POV

I got up this morning with a massive hangover. Effie was right; maybe I should lay off the alcohol... Nah, I can manage, I have so for the past years and I can still tolerate the hangovers for years to come.

I walked towards my cupboard to grab a bottle of gin. A took a swig of it then I slumped on the couch. This is just another boring nothing out of the ordinary day and the geese can survive on their own, so I really don't have a reason to get up. I placed the bottle on the coffee table, and allowed myself to drift off to a nice and peaceful sleep. Ahhhh, this is the life...

I suddenly heard a loud ringing. What the hell was that! ? I got up the couch-startled of the noise. I glance around the room, only to find out that that was just the phone. I forced myself to get up then I dragged my feet to the little noisemaker and grabbed the phone from the receiver.

"Hello?"

"Hi Haymitch, this is Peeta. I was just wondering if you can help me set up the bakeshop for it's reopening tomorrow." Oh great... more work... just what I need...NOT!

"No thanks!"

"Please, Katniss and Effie have already agreed to help me but we need more hands around here, else we'll never finish in time." No wonder he's not getting any work done. Effie is more of a..._.liability_ than an asset in these things.

"Then reopen next week or something..." He can always do that right? Just place a signage on the door or something. Sure, a lot of people who expected the opening to be tomorrow will be disappointed but tough luck for them.

"Changing the schedule isn't as easy as it sounds you know?" he stated.

'Yes it is."

"Please Haymitch, I really want to stick to the original schedule..." he begged.

"Fine, I'll help..." Well, I sorta pity the boy..._sort of. _This can't possibly take all day, right?

"Thanks a lot Haymitch!"

"Okay, I'll be there soon..." I banged the phone on the receiver. I gulped the rest of my booze before walking back to the cupboard for a new bottle. I grabbed a small bottle of vodka before heading out. It took me about 20 minutes to get there. Peeta was repainting the sign while Katniss was polishing the display case.

"Oh, there you are Haymitch. Thanks for helping." Peeta smiled.

"So what should I do?"

"Effie's out in the back. She needs _a little help_..." says Katniss. She placed an emphasis on the last line. I think "a little help" is really more than a little help.

I walked inside the store. I took a swig of alcohol before placing the bottle on top of the counter then I headed out to the back door. I heard Effie struggling from the other side. I placed my ear against the door, to listen more closely. She's really funny. I suddenly heard a banging sound. I panicked and rushed out the door.

"Effie? Are you okay?" I looked around the place then I saw Effie lying down on the ground with a broken sack of flour covering her face and upper body. I knelt down in front of her then I helped her remove the sack from her body. She was completely covered in flour; her whole face is white. It was hilarious-that is if she isn't hurt.

"I'm okay... Don't worry..." Oh she's fine, so it's funny then.

She stood up, then she brushed some of the flour off. I tried to stifle my laughter; she looks like a big piece of newly floured dough.

"What? What's so funny?" She glared at me.

"You are, covered in flour like that. Oh I wish I had a camera!" I stopped stifling and allowed my laughter to come out. She knows now anyways.

"Hahaha, very funny Haymitch..."

"Aww, cheer up princess. I was just joking. Here let me help you." I grabbed my clean handkerchief. I used one hand to steady her while the other gently wipes her face. A few minutes later I saw that her make up got wiped off along with the flour. Without all of that Capitol gunk on her face she really is beautiful. I then took her floured wig off, then I handed it to her. Her blonde hair looks way better than those colored wigs that she loves so much. I felt warmth in my cheeks; it felt weird. I let go of her then I walked towards the remaining sacks of flour.

"You know, you look better without the wig and make up." I said.

"Really? Or are you just joking?"

"I'm serious... I'll continue stacking the flour. You just clean up the broken sack and the spills okay?" I said as I hoisted a sac over my shoulder.

"Okay... and Haymitch-"

"What?"

"Thank you very much..." Why is she thanking me? What did I do?

"For what?"

"For-for everything..." I placed the sack down into the designated area then I glanced at her. Our eyes met instantly then I felt weird again... I'm sort of getting used to this feeling even though I don't know what it is. Maybe I'm just not used to getting along with her so much. Sure, we used to see each other every year during the games but we're not particularly close. We argued a lot.

"You're welcome sweetheart..." I smiled at her. She smiled back then walked off to get a broom.

After a couple of hours of back-breaking work... Okay, it wasn't really that hard, just exhausting. We walked back inside the bake shop and was met by a very shocking scene. It was like watching the games all over again... Katniss making out with Peeta for the sponsors...

"I see that the two of you are still quite busy..." I smirked at them. Effie raised an eyebrow while the two lovestruck teenagers looked at us in shock.

"Oh, I see that you're done with the flour..." Peeta said. The embarrassment can be easily sensed in his tone.

"Oh, it was no trouble at all, since Effie and I got to see the sequel of you're star-crossed lovers act." I smirked at them. I call this revenge for not helping us, despite having finished their jobs early.

"It was a great show actually. Please continue." Effie said jokingly. Hmm, it's not like Effie to joke around. I guess District 12 is sort of changing her. That's good I guess, she needs to relax a little.

"Oh my... I feel like a teenage girl caught by her parents making love with her boyfriend." stated Katniss. She scratched the back of her noggin with embarrassment. I just love making fun of these two.

"That's a bad idea Katniss. Haymitch and Effie would make terrible parents." He smiled at us jokingly.

"Wipe that smug of you're face young man and you better watch it. We might just adopt you." I said. I made sure that my tone had a hint of authority and was fatherly. Peeta looked at us with his mouth agape.

"Sorry, mom. Sorry dad."

"That's okay Peeta. We forgive you." Effie smirked.

"It's like I'm watching one of those sitcoms from the pre-Panem period." Katniss giggled. Peeta glared at her.

"Anyways, thanks for the help you guys." he tried to change the topic.

"It was no trouble at all. I'll see you tomorrow Peeta." Katniss gave him a peck on the cheek then she headed for the door.

"Okay, bye cupcake!" he waved goodbye to Katniss right before she left.

"Well, we better get going too. It's getting late you know." I said.

"Okay then, bye guys!"

I offered Effie to take her home. I looked at her and noticed that she wasn't carrying her wig nor did she reapply any of her makeup. Well, this is a first...

"Where's your wig?" I asked.

"Maybe you're right Haymitch. Maybe I do look better without it and as for the makeup- I'll keep it at a minimal I guess." Wow, this is a new side of Effie Trinket that I never saw. I guess I sort of underestimated her a little.

"Well, you do... What about your clothes?" I asked.

"I still want to stay in style you know." Yeah, in CAPITOL style. But I guess it's good that she's toning it down now.

"Well, here we are. I'll see you around Princess."

"Okay, bye..." She walked towards her front door.

'Bye!" I waved at her just before she closed the door shut. Well, I got to joke around with Katniss, Peeta and Effie so I guess my afternoon wasn't a total waste... Oh yeah, I left my booze on Peeta's counter. Darn it!

* * *

**Okay, according to the number of words... this is my longest chapter so far...No wonder it took a while. Your reviews are much appreciated ^-^**


	7. Grilled squirrel

**Chapter 8 is out now.**

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Effie's POV

I sat down on my comfy couch; thinking of what to do about food. My weekly delivery of ingredients from the Capitol will be delayed-for about 3 days, which is some bad news. The vegetables, bread and produce aren't that much of a problem. I get bread from Peeta and vegetables are always readily available here. It's the meat that I'm worried about; they mostly eat wild game here so sophisticated meats like chicken or beef are pretty hard to come by. To make matters worse Peeta and Katniss will be coming over tonight and I was planning on serving them roasted chicken. I already have the spices and everything; it doesn;t have to be chicken-it can be duck or goose... Wait, that's it! Haymitch takes care of geese.

I got up from the couch then walked towards the phone. I dialed Haymitch's number in a haste. I heard his phone rang and it took about 20 rings before he answered.

'Hello?" Finally!

"Good morning Haymitch. It's Effie. I was just wondering if you could..." I really don't know how to put such a request into words. It is highly inappropriate to say _Can you butcher one of your geese so I roast it? Did I mention that I need it today, so please do it ASAP! I don't want you to dilly-dally!_ No that's somewhat rude.

"What is it sweetheart I haven't got all day?" he said. The impatience can be detected from his tone. I better make this quick.

"You care for a lot of geese correct?" I asked.

"Yeah, so what do you want? You want one so you can cook it or something?" Well, this is a lot easier than I expected.

"Yes, geese do have this nice rich flavor and it goes well with wine." I stated. I hoped that the statement about the wine will help. I know he loves liquors.

"Sorry, no can do princess."he replied.

"Why?" He has a lot of geese. I bet he can give me one. It's not like it's going to affect him much anyways. Why doesn't he want to.

"I raise them geese for their eggs. They're of the light kind, not the best kind of meat." The light breeds-they're perfect for egg production but the heavy ones have the best meat. They're fleshier.

"Okay, I understand. Do you have any suggestions on what I should serve for tonight. Katniss and Peeta are coming over. They say that they want to taste my cooking."

"If you want a bird so badly I can get you some."

"Really? You will do that?" What an incredible stroke of luck. Looks like Haymitch is really the helping type after all.

"Yeah, why not? I'll be there in a couple of hours okay?"

"Alright, Thanks a lot Haymitch." I placed the phone back into the receiver then I happily went into my bedroom to do a little light reading.

* * *

It was after lunch time when I heard the doorbell rang. I opened the door, let him in and noticed that he was carrying this big black plastic bag. The meat is probably in there.

"Oh you're going to love this one Effie. I got a nice plump one for ya." He said as he took out a nice fat bird from the bag.

"Is that wild turkey?" It looked like a turkey but I'm not really sure. I haven't seen one that hasn't been dressed nor one that's in the wild.

"It sure is sweetheart. I also got you a special treat." He said as he handed me a couple of small fur like creatures. They're-squirrels?

"I-Is that?" Are those really squirrels. He can't expect me to eat them right? Not only are they cute but they might have rabies and other diseases. What if I get rabies?

"Squirrels, I like grilling them." he smirked. No wonder he's so willing to help. He just can't resist offering up some woodland creature and see how I would react to eating and cooking it. I am most certainly not amused by his trickery.

"I'll pass." I said.

"Why? This is a District 12 delicacy and you've been living here for 3 whole months now." Is that suppose to be a right of passage or something. I doubt I have to try exotic foods to gain the acceptance of the community. I would consider most of them to be my friends already.

"Really, it's okay. I don't have to try it."

"But I insist." he said as he shoved the squirrels to me.

"Why do you want me to? do these things have rabies or something."

"No, of course not! Just try it. You may actually like it." he does have a point I guess. Well, there's no use lengthening this debate wherein I will inevitably loose.

"Fine, but I don't know how to prepare them."

"Oh don't worry. I'll cook it for ya. You just prepare the turkey, okay princess?" he smiled in triumph.

I went out to the dirty kitchen then I started to dress and prepare the turkey. Haymitch was doing the same but with the squirrels instead. I just can't fathom on how I'll possibly enjoy eating the tiny little creature.

After placing the turkey in the oven I walked to the couch then I turned on the television set. Haymitch grabbed a bottle of vodka from his bag and sat down next to me. He said that the squirrels are cooked and ready to eat. They were placed on a tray on top of my dinning table. I tried to ignore him and focus my attention on the screen; The show was a soap opera of some sort; I really didn't understand the plot but it was something about a woman cheating on her husband with his evil twin I think.

"So Effs, when are you going to try the squirrel." he said right before he took a swig of alcohol. Ignoring him isn't really working.

"I'll think about it..." I replied.

"Try em now!" He urged.

"Maybe later..."

"Please..."

"Not now."

"Pleeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaase" How absolutely infuriating. He is acting like a child. That is definitely not how a man his age should act.

"If I do this will you stop pestering me." I sighed.

"Of course, sweetheart."

"Alright then." I walked to the dining room. I grabbed a knife and a fork and cut a small piece of the grilled squirrel. I smelled it first- well it doesn't smell as bad as I thought it would. I looked at Haymitch and he just nodded. I took a small bite; i tried to examine it's taste and texture...and it... TASTED AWFUL! I tried to chew and swallow the horrid piece of meat but it was extremely difficult not to spew. I kept forcing it to go down my throat and it eventually did. Haymitch handed me a glass of water and I drank it quickly; hoping that it will cleanse the loathsome taste from my mouth.

"So, what do ya think?" he tried to stifle his laughter. Aha! I knew it. He wants to make a fool out of me.

"It was the most revolting thing that I have ever placed in my mouth!"

"Oh, really now." He's snickering now. How rude!

"It's not funny Haymitch!" I exclaimed before returning to the couch to "watch" the soap opera.

"I'm sorry sweetheart but I just couldn't let this opportunity pass me by." He smirked.

"Well, at least now I know it has an atrocious taste."

"That's the spirit sweetheart! A toast to Ms. Effie Trinket!" he raised his liquor bottle to me before drinking some of its contents. I just rolled my eyes.

* * *

A few more minutes of waiting Peeta and Katniss arrives. It was just before seven I think. I heard the timer then I plated the turkey and served it at the table. They complemented me on the dish. I was quite proud of myself.

"So Haymitch, is this the reason why you asked me to get you a turkey." Katniss asked him. So that's where he got the bird. I should have known it was Katniss' hunt; where else will Haymitch be able to get a hold of such a meat at such short notice.

"Yup, you have to agree. Hunting it was worth the effort." he smiled at me. I smiled back; admiring his complement.

"Yes, but what happened to the squirrels?" she asked. Haymitch smirked at me and I just glared at him.

"Effie and I had a little feast before you two got here. Isn't that right princess?" he smiled mischievously. He's not going to tell them is he?... No, he is. Sadly, he will definitely tell them

"Don't you dare-"

He cut me off then he told about my first taste of squirrel in such detail. Peeta and Katniss laughed. I forced a fake smile; I'm not giving him the satisfaction of seeing me embarrassed. After a few moments everyone has finally toned down and we all continued to eat our meal.

After dinner, we talked a little about our post-war lives. Then Katniss and Peeta said their goodbyes and left. Haymitch and I were left alone once again.

"I'm out of booze, you have any?" he asked. I shook my head and turned away from him.

"Are you still upset about the squirrel?" he asks.

"That's an understatement, Mr. Abernathy." I made sure that the anger can be easily heard from my tone. He embarrassed me in front of the two. It was hard enough to consume the tiny creature but he just needs to tell my reactions to someone else.

"You know Effie, you're taking all of this District 12 stuff rather well." he commented. Me? Taking it well? I'm having a hard time adapting actually.

"How?"

"For one, you trashed the wig. You have also made a lot of friends here already. Plus, you tried squirrel. You're adapting way better than I thought."

"Well, you're not giving me enough credit." I said proudly.

"I may have underestimated you..." he nodded.

For a brief moment we were both silent. We just stayed seated on the couch looking at blank TV screen; watching nothing in particular. The memory of these past months ran through my head. I guess he has a point but it's still hard for me to adapt to such a life. I glanced to my side and I could tell Haymitch was thinking of something very deep as well. He looked emotionless yet serious at the same time; his eyes moved around the room-looking at nothing in particular. He then fixed his gaze on me and smiled.

"I better get going. Thanks for the meal sweetheart." he said as he stood up from his seat and walked towards the door.

"Okay, thanks for the meat..."

"It was no trouble at all. Besides, it was Katniss who caught it, not me. I'm also going to need something in return." he smiled.

"Okay then. I'll give it to you after my trip from the Capitol. I know the perfect gift for you." I smirked at him. I have the perfect gift. It is something that he will surely love and something that will help him get over alcohol.

It's time for payback Mr. Haymitch Abernathy...

* * *

**Well, this one took longer than I expected. Well, with the upcat reviews, unfinished paintings and the nagging sister, I shouldn't really be that surprised. anyways please review ^_^**

**Oh and pop quiz! What is one of the strongest alcoholic drinks that was once believed to cause hallucinations?**


	8. Magic from the Green Fairy

**Okay, first of all the answer from last time's question is Absinthe.**

**Absinthe is a strong alcoholic drink that contains 50-75% of alcohol. It is distilled and flavored with anise seeds. In the 19th century it was believed to cause hallucinations and was called "The Green Fairy". It is usually dillute with sugar and water before drinking. (this is not a copy paste from wikipedia. Why do I know so much about alcoholic beverages? -_-)**

**Anyways, here's the next chapter**

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Haymitch's POV

It has been two weeks since Effie promised me a gift from the Capitol. I don't really like stuff; Capitol stuff in particular but I love to get booze. They have a lot of strong liquors back in the Capitol, I'm hoping that Effie got me some.

I walked towards her front door then I rang the doorbell. She immediately opened the door and asked me to come in. She looked unusually happy-even for her standards.

"So I guess you're here for your gift?" She asked. Well, it will be easier to receive it then; on the count of she already knows. It's good that she remembers, I really thought that she would forget.

"Yep, I sure am sweetheart." I gave her a big happy grin and she smiled at me in return. It almost looked like a smirk actually. She then walked upstairs; to get my gift I think.

I took a seat on the couch. I looked down on the ground and noticed that the entire flooring for this room is covered in some sort of thin transparent plastic mat. I wonder what that's for? Probably a ridiculous Capitol trend.

A few moments later she came back poised and happy as ever. She was carrying this liquor bottle filled with a translucent green liquid. Well, it looks like I got my wish after all. I hope it's a strong one.

"Are you familiar with absinthe, Haymitch?" she asks. Absinthe? I have heard of it but I have neither tasted nor seen the actual stuff; they say it has a really high alcohol content. Yeah, I could really use some of that strong stuff...

"Well, I've heard of it. I've never actually tasted the stuff."

"You're in luck then. As a thanks for helping me with dinner." She said as she presented the bottle. I grabbed hold of it and abruptly taken the cap off.

"Haymitch, you should really know that that has a very high alcohol content. It is usually diluted-" I cut her off. I've been drinking some really strong stuff like whiskey and gin for a while now. I do not need to dilute my alcohol. Diluting is for wussies!

"I can handle this, princess. Don't you worry your pretty little head." I gave her a pat on the head before taking a big gulp of the green stuff.

Whoa! that stuff is strong! I like it! I tilted the bottle further back and dumped all of it's contents into my throat. I then placed the bottle down the counter, and wiped my mouth with my forearm. That's some good stuff!

"Thanks princess, I loved it. You got more?" I slumped down the couch and smiled at her as she stood there with her mouth open in shock. Man, that expression on her face is precious!

I thought she was just going to stand there but she eventually gave me a big grin and nodded. She then headed into the kitchen. I felt a slight headache; maybe gulping all of that alcohol continuously wasn't such a good idea. I'll just use a glass for the next one.

Effie eventually came back carrying a tray with some glasses, absinthe and some other stuff that I really don't know. She placed the tray on the coffee table. I poured some in my glass while she starts fixing some kind of set up: she placed a slotted spoon with a sugar cube over the glass and allowed droplets of water to dissolve the sugar cube. So that's what she meant by diluting.

I gulped mine while she watched the sugary water drop down hers. I don't think its worth it; takes too long. I just don't have the patience for that. I have just finished my first glass when she took a sip of hers.

"Oh! What a peculiar flavor!" She exclaimed.

"Is the alcohol too much for ya, princess?" I laughed. Effie's not really the kind of person to like this stuff, so I wasn't really surprised by her reaction.

"I'll pass on the alcohol for now..." she pushed her glass towards me and I gladly accepted it. I gulped the sweetened liquid down; its milder compared to mine but still pretty strong.

"I have to do some errands upstairs. Will be be alright here?"

"Yeah, don't worry about me sweetheart. I'll be here-drinking and such." I raised my glass and smiled at her. She smirked then headed upstairs.

Heaven finally reached the earth. It is here in this comfy seat where I'm surrounded by strong liquors. Life is good!

* * *

Effie's POV

I left Haymitch alone in the sitting room. I hope my plan works; he'll have the biggest hangover known to man. I hope that will make him renounce alcohol for good. I didn't count on him wanting to drink it pure. Oh well, it's not like I'll leave him out in the street if he gets drunk, I plan to teach him a lesson; not to torture him.

I organised some files and calculated some of my daily expenses and earnings. my expenses weren't as big as they used to be. District 12 has a lower cost of living compared to the Capitol so I shouldn't really be surprised.

I suddenly heard a loud crash from the sitting room. I rushed down only to be met by an unconscious Haymitch lying face down on his own vomit; good thing I covered my carpet in plastic. He was surrounded by glass shards but luckily he wasn't cut by any of them.

Well, I planned this to happened; I'm going to have to face the consequences. Oh Effie, what have you gotten yourself into...

I carried-no not carried; more like dragged Haymitch inside the bathroom. I positioned him to sit I rolled my sleeves up and I start to unbutton his shirt. I slid it off of him then I placed the soiled garments in the sink. I unbuttoned his pants and I slid it off of him as well. Okay, now for the- Oh crap!

Maybe I can just leave it on. No he might get a cold or something and a bit of vomit stained it as well. Oh well, ce la vie...

You can do this Effie! You're a strong woman. Just don't look at it and it won't be as awkward... I grab hold of the garter and I start to pull the small garment down. Happy thoughts Effie, think of happy thoughts: lamb stew, roasted turkey, Katniss and Peeta as victors, Panem is finally free, just government, sober Haymitch, foot spas, facials... Don't look down! Don't look down- and I looked down... Crapity crap CRAP!

* * *

After "a series of unfortunate events" I finally got Haymitch clean. I called Peeta to get some clean clothes from Haymitch's place. It didn't take him long which was good. After he got changed Peeta helped me carry him to the guest room. We placed him on the bed and I pulled up the covers.

I thanked Peeta and bade him goodbye.

Haymitch slept through the entire day and the entire night. I often went downstairs to go and check on him and he is always fast asleep. He would sometimes thrash around but he would calm down right before I got close enough to him. I bet he has already figured out my plan. I wonder if he'll hate me in the morning?

I got up relatively early that day; at around 4:00 am. I made him some chicken noodle soup; I hope that will help with his hangover. I think he has suffered enough- we both have suffered enough.

I placed a glass of water and the bowl of soup by his bedside. I was just about to leave when I heard a groan. He sat up, rubbed his eyes and gave me a questioning look.

"Good morning Haymitch!" I exclaimed.

"Morning..." he really looks bad. He looked so sickly and exhausted. I kind of feel bad yet amused at the same time. I also suffered yesterday so the hangover serves him right.

"Wha-what h-happened?"

"You got drunk, severely drunk..." I said.

"C-can I lie here for a while..." he asks.

"Sure, there's food bi your side table if you want."

"O-okay..."

"So you want some liquors." I smirked at him. He just groaned and shook his head. Yes, my plan is working perfectly; it was all worth it after all.

"H-how much d-did I drink yesterday?"

"About 4 bottles I think, did you have any alcohol prior to your visit?"

"I-I can't r-recall... Oh this is t-the worst hangover!"

"I have some absinthe left. You want to bring home some?" I smirked at him again. His expression looks scared and shocked.

"N-no, t-that won't be necessary!"

"I hope you learned your lesson Haymitch. Try to reduce the alcohol intake okay. I'll help you if you like." I told him. I really want him to change his drinking habits. It is for his own good.

"F-fine..."

"We'll take it slowly-baby steps. Now, get some rest." I wiped off some sweat off his forehead before walking out of the room and closing the door. Well, it looks like reverse psychology does work after all.

* * *

**I had a little trouble with this one but I must say that it is worth it. I don't know if you guys will like this one but it is one of my favorites. Anyways, please let me know what you think :D. Your reviews are all appreciated ^_^**


	9. More than Friends?

**I'm not sure but I think this story is developing with me. Is my writing getting better or is it just me? Anyways, here's the chapter**

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Effie's POV

After Haymitch left the whole house felt empty; I don't know why though. I just feel so alone and miserable for some reason. It's so confusing and difficult, I've never felt this way before. What's happening to me? Is this an effect of the Capitol's torture or the absinthe I drank yesterday.

Well, it's not healthy to dwell on these things; I should just shrug it off. I'm not the Capitol's servant anymore, so I should just forget about it. Maybe Haymitch was right about the alcohol; it does make you forget even just for a while.

I placed the covers that he used into the washing machine. His scent still lingers in the fabric; it makes me feel safe and right now I think that District 12 is really my home. It's funny how bed sheets can comfort me; it's just so absurd.

After placing the covers in the machine I walked towards the couch and turned the television on. I just need something to distract me; I desperately need to clear my mind from such unwanted thoughts. I watched the bright colors flash from the television but I wasn't really paying any attention to the show; I just thought of him.

But why him? Why can't I think of Katniss or Peeta or my other friends for that matter? Why does it have to be Haymitch Abernathy? What made him cross my mind? Is there something special about him? He's just another one of my friends correct?

I remember the first time that I saw him. I was a young girl; barely a woman. I saw him on the television screen, he looked so sharp, handsome and fearless. His eyes told of bravery and his well-chiseled body told of utter perfection. I still remember that young girl who would chant "Mrs. Effie Abernathy", the one who dreams about a happy future with District 12's sole living victor. It was all just a crush.

* * *

_*flashback*_

_One could only imagine my disappointment when I actually met the man. __It was my first year as District 12's escort. It was once my dream job; becoming an escort is a great honor bestowed upon a few. I got down the train and looked around the entire place; I knew that it would look depressing but I never thought that it would be this-this... sad. _

_2 men were there to welcome us- one was Mayor Undersee who was dressed well and was ready for the __occasion, the other one was Haymitch who was drunk and well under-dressed. That was the time when dreams turned to nightmares, fantasy became reality, perfection was deformed and admiration turned to disgust.  
_

_Our encounter on the train was even more disappointing. He was in the bar car and the two tributes were asking me about survival advice, which sadly I couldn't give. I left the two to call for him._

_"Mr. Abernathy, you ought to help the two tributes-" he cut me off._

_"Now listen, here's how it works: I show up and you mind your own business." he said firmly._

_"But what about the kids?"_

_"They die. I really can't do anything about it and besides isn't that what you Capitol freaks want?" his words pierced through me like a sword. Prior to becoming an escort I have always thought that these kids from the district were just as excited as we are but I was wrong-dead wrong._

_The kids were terrified- the whole district was terrified. My perception on the games changed. It was no longer a form of enjoyment; it was a method of torture- the worst possible execution. I am just an escort; a follower of the Capitol and I must comply with their wants, else I die along with the tributes._

_"They don't have to if you would mentor them!" I exclaimed. I was getting really impatient with him._

_"It's not worth it sweetheart. They are going to die anyways..." there was sadness in his voice. I didn't argue any further._

* * *

Every year that was our arrangement. He shows up for the sake of showing up, I organize, assist and watch over the kids and lastly, the tributes die. That pattern was altered when Katniss and Peeta won. I hoped for a promotion at first; I just have to get away from 12's depressing situation. Funny how I've come to call this place home.

It's also funny how the man that I once adored became the drunk that I abhorred then became the friend that I cared for. Is it going to end there? Why do I want to be more than just friends?

I turned the television off, it's just a waste of electricity. There is nothing to help me distract myself. I must face my own thoughts and feelings now.

It's strange that I was saddened by his leave, it's strange on how I can care about him so much to go through all the trouble I did last night and it's strange on how I can't possibly imagine life without him.

He has the most beautiful eyes; one could get lost just by looking straight into them. There is just something more to him; he is a wonderful person despite everything. Why can't others see that? All they see is an anti-social lazy drunkard but I have scratched beneath that surface and found out that he is a wonderful, caring, brave man who mentored not only one but two victors, who helped liberate Panem from the government's oppresion, who saved and cared for me after my imprisonment.

I dare not deny it any longer; my strange feeling is not a remnant of the Capitol's betrayal nor was it an effect of the sip of absinthe that I took. These strange feeling is love; love for the man who rescued me from my prison cell, the same one that I cared for after he got drunk.

I am in love with one Haymitch Abernathy.

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**This chapter made me emotional... and not in a good way T_T. Anyways, please review. Reviews always help me improve my stories. Thank you for reading guys, I know I'm not the best writer but I do try. **

**Sorry for being such an emo today... I just feel so T_T, I don't know why though.**


	10. Sad Memories

**Okay, another chapter. I hope that you guys like this one... This is set a year after District 13's victory**

******ps: try reading this while listening to the song When She Cries by Restless Heart ( that song inspired me to write this one)**

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Haymitch's POV

After the incident with the absinthe Effie's been acting really strange. She rarely looks at me in the eye anymore and she would sometimes smile at me for no apparent reason. Well, at least she looks a lot happier compared to when she first moved here in District 12. She's rarely upset anymore, it would seem as though she wasn't tortured in the first place. I'm glad that she's starting to move on.

District 12 is going to have a celebration today, it was something about winning the rebellion I think. It kind of sucked because I was required to attend and I rather stay home and have a couple of beers. Yes, a couple only. Effie is really supportive, I'm starting to recover from my alcohol addiction, which is really good I guess but it takes all of my free-will for me not to drink an entire barrel of liquor.

I wore a simple dress shirt, a blue tie and a black coat. There are cocktails there; maybe I can have a few of those- it is better than nothing I suppose. I walked out of the door then I headed to the town square. The whole place was decorated and set up; there was this huge screen in front of what used to be the justice building, a huge buffet table sits in a corner and there were several round tables that was decorated with white table cloths and flower vases. I spotted Peeta, Katniss and Effie sitting in the table by the corner. Peeta waved his hand to me and I walked towards them.

"Wow Haymitch, I didn't expect you to show up. I thought you would have drank yourself silly by now." he grinned.

"Whatever you say kid... I was required to show up remember?" I told him.

"Yeah, but you're a little late. The program is finished." Katniss pointed out.

"I meant to do that sweetheart. Who wants to sit here and watch people giving out lengthy speeches and such about the rebellion..." I smirked. Yeah, I know it's important to honor that day and blah blah blah stuff like that but it is just so darn boring.

"Well, at least he showed up. C'mon let's get us some food. I'm starving!" Peeta then led Katniss to the buffet leaving me and Effie alone in the table.

She hasn't spoken a word since I got here; I was sort of expecting her to lecture me on tardiness and stuff like that but she remains quiet. She just kept tracing the patterns on the silverware placed down before her. The skin on her neck rose and fell in perfect coordination with her breathing and I noticed small wet droplets on the table cloth- she was sobbing.

"Effie? Is everything okay?" I clasped her hands against mine and gave her a comforting gaze.

She kept her eyes down as she shuffled uncomfortably in her sit. She mouthed a yes but I refuse to believe her. There is definitely something wrong.

"Effie please, I can help. Tell me what's wrong." I squeezed her hands. She looked up to meet my gaze then she nodded silently.

"I-I'm s-sorry, it's bad manners to cry at such a joyous occasion but I just remembered the Ca-Capitol's..." she whispered. Poor Effie, she always managed to hide all of the pain underneath a mask of happiness but sometimes it's just too much. I got up and led her away from the party. We walked around the almost-empty district hand in hand.

We stopped at a nearby park. We sat down on a bench. She managed to calm down a little bit but it is obvious that she's still crying. I handed her my clean handkerchief and she whispered a thanks.

"You know, they say that walking can be very therapeutic. It can clear one's mind..." she stated.

"Well, I hope that our little stroll helped."

"It did." She nodded and gave me a sad smile. She looked so beautiful. Her hair falls perfectly into round gentle golden curls upon her shoulders, and her eyes glimmered against the moonlight. Oh man Effie is making me so poetic! Why is that?

"I-I think I'm r-ready t-to t-tell you the whole story..."She said in between sobs. I nodded then I placed an arm around her and held her close. She snuggled against me then she started to narrate her story.

"I watched the force field in the arena explode from my television. I knew that they were going to arrest me... I began packing my things, for my escape but I was too late a-and t-they caught me!" She starts to sob once again. I patted her on the back and whispered that it's okay. A few moments later she calmed down and she started narrating again.

"T-they t-tortured me: electrocution, flogging, mind-altering, watching others die... you name it..." I felt her tighten her hold on my shirt. I wrapped my arms around her and rocked her soothingly. I just want her to feel better.

She continued to narrate the gruesome details of her torture. She told me that she wished to die. It hurts me that this happened to her. I badly want a drink of some strong stuff right now-just to forget the graphic details of Effie's torture but that's a bad move; she needs me right now.

"I-I'm r-really s-sorry for pulling you out of the party Haymitch..." She whispered as she buried her head against my shirt and continued to sob uncontrollably. I can feel my shirt get soaked by her warm tears.

"It's fine, really. That party was no fun anyways." I assured her.

"Your the best Haymitch..." Me? The best? I'm just trying to help.

I loosened my hold of her then I gently directed her head to face me. I brushed a few stray strands of hair from her face then I wiped away the remaining tears with my thumb. My heart stopped, she looked absolutely stunning.

I never felt so over-protective towards a person before. I need to keep her happy and safe, even more so than the family that I lost years ago. I just want to hold her like this for the rest of my life. I don't want her to drift away from me. I think I love her. I just want to hold her in my arms till the end of time. I don't want to let go; I don't want her to drift away.

But what does she think of me? I am just a drunk who insults her; maybe that's why I've been trying so hard to sober up. I want to be worthy of her. Who am I kidding? She will never love me. It's a miracle that she's willing to be friends and that's good enough for me. I'll continue this charade, she'll comfort me and help me with my alcohol problem while I comfort her and help her adjust to District 12 while showing no signs of actually wanting to be more than friends. It's mutual I guess... I just want to make her happy...

* * *

**No, they are not a couple yet in this one. I plan on taking it slow (I still have no idea myself on the outcome of this story- I'm just making it up as I go)**

**I'm not sure but I think Haymitch is a little out of character here. Anyways please tell me what you guys think of this one; your reviews are much appreciated.**

**Sorry about some grammatically incorrect statements (for the whole story, not just this one) even my brother told me that my grammar stinks. English isn't really my native language but that's really no excuse...**

**Anyways, thank you for reading :D**


	11. What is life?

**I don't know why I wrote this but it feels just so right to write this...**

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_Effie's POV_

_"Your friends will die..." the man said just before the tip of the whip touched my bare bloody back. I felt like gasping-screaming even, I dare not feel the whip against my skin. This feels like a dream- a dark disturbing nightmare. It looked real but it feels so not real..._

* * *

I got up; sweating and gasping for air. It is all just a dream after all; a dark twisted demented dream. It was a manifestation of all of the years of lying, fooling myself and hiding all the pain. Such a dark past; covered by a mask of fake happiness- every single day of my life I put on a fake smile, I lie about my happiness to others even to myself, I acted naive and clueless... I guess trying to fool others would fool me sometimes too; into thinking that nothing was wrong.

My whole past feels like a dream despite knowing that it wasn't. It has pain,sadness, suffering, joy, hate and love. Why is it that I want to hold on to such a life despite trying to move on? And what of now; why is my past so hazy, so dreary and dreamy? It feels imaginative and not real...

How can all of those things happened anyway? Why was I born in the Capitol? Why was I assigned to District 12? Why did I meet Katniss, Peeta, Haymitch and others? Why does my life feels so out of control despite trying to control it.

They say that a person makes his/her own fate but what about the things that we cannot control? What about them? Are we held responsible for the happenings that are beyond us? If so, how can we control them? How can we move on and start over or maybe even... change the past...

But the past can't be changed... That's a sad known fact but it's true that we can move on and start a new life from scratch- that is what I had attempted to do. But I can't let go of the past despite everything; maybe I'm just too scared of the future... Maybe I really don't want to move on but I must. I will suffer more if I don't.

This is just another lonely night where I try to repair my own confusions. I can't even understand myself. I am merely an individual lost amongst a crowd of people who are trying to find their own way in this world. What's my way; what path should I choose and will it lead me to the fate that I've been dreaming of?

What's the difference between dreams and real life anyways? No matter how illogical or impossible a dream is you will think that it's real at that time and sometimes real life would seem so dream-like. If we can wake up from a dream; can we also wake up from reality?

Did I make the right choice to choose District 12 as my new home? Where in this world should I fit in? Is everyone playing a charade with me; pretending to like me or do they truly care? I wish everyone would just accept me.

Maybe it's time to change the course of this dream. Maybe everything seems hazy because it's time to let go of it- for real. It's time to stop lying to the world and to myself. I want to be happy for real.

So what is life?

* * *

Haymitch's POV

I took my ninth bottle of liquor from the cupboard then I dumped the contents down my throat. Sometimes I just couldn't help it. It's a part of me now. Alcohol is who I am but I am so urged to move on. Effie has a point; it has destroyed my life but it's a part of me. Can I really take out such a part?

Why is it so hard to stop anyways? All I have to do is STOP but why can't I? It just calls to me; it lures me but why can others abstain from it when I can't?

I am weak...

I must try to stop; Effie wants me to. Funny, how that woman gave me the will to do something I usually can't. I guess I really do love her and to think that it was once the exact opposite. Life is so strange; you can't really anticipate what will happened and when it will happened. Then, can we really control it if it's so unpredictable? Are we really masters of our own fate?

But I know I must try to. If I don't do anything; it will all stay the same but if I try to change I might actually have a chance to make things better. I can't really say what will happened next though...

So what is life?

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** This one took a while... **

**I appreciate your reviews... :D**


	12. Discussions

**Neither Effie nor Haymitch appears in this chapter... **

**ps: Katniss and Peeta are Hayffie shippers**

* * *

Peeta and Katniss were eating pastries at his bakery. Peeta handed Katniss a cream puff and she took a bite of it.

"How does my cream puff like her cream puff?" he smirked.

"Hmmm, this is really good Peeta. A new cream puff recipe of yours?" She asked as she took another huge bite off the pastry.

"Nope, Effie made them..." he stated as he took a pastry of his own.

"The same Effie that was once District 12's escort?" She asked. It came as a shock to them both that District 12's ex-escort was a pretty skilled chef and baker. It turns out that cooking and baking was a hobby of hers. Peeta even offered her a job at the bakery, which she gladly took.

"The very one. She's my best employee actually."

"Peeta, she's your only employee." Katniss stated.

"Yeah..."

They continued to eat in silence then Peeta noticed that Katniss looked like she was intensely thinking of something.

"Something wrong Katniss?" he asked

"No, I was just thinking of something..." she replied.

"What's on your mind?" he smiled at her.

"Effie and Haymitch."

"Why?" Peeta raised an eyebrow and gave her a questioning look.

"They have really changed."

"But we all did." he stated in a sad tone. They were all damaged by the rebellion in one way or another but they all try to forget and move on.

"No, I mean I think we're not really seeing the whole story. I think something's going on between those two."

"What are you suggesting? That they have a secret affair?" he smirked. Katniss punched him in the shoulder.

"I'm saying that they secretly like each other."

"Oh, Katniss. You only realized that now? It's really obvious..." he smiled at her. Katniss glared at him.

'You big liar!" she said jokingly.

"Fine! I only thought of it when you pointed it out. Happy?" He raised his arms in defeat before bursting out laughing.

"Why? What's so funny." she raised an eyebrow.

"Remember when you guys were helping me with the reopening?" he smirked at her- a thought is playing in his head.

"Yeah, what about it?"

"Remember the remark I said about Haymitch and Effie being parents. I was just imagining them to be a family. That would be wacky; like a sitcom."

"Peeta, we can't really tell." she defended them.

"How about a little experiment then. Let's ask em to make babies." he smirked.

Katniss' cheeks turned bright red and she wasn't able to look Peeta straight in the eye. It is evident that she's very uncomfortable with the topic at hand.

"P-peeta, don't!"

"Why not? You did say that they liked each other." he smirked

"Change of topic!" she exclaimed.

"You're cute when you feel awkward." Peeta chuckled.

"Shut up! It's not funny!" Katniss tried to sound serious but she couldn't help but smile.

"Oh really? Then why are you smiling." he smirked.

"This conversation never happened!" she exclaimed.

"But it did Katniss."

"Peeta!"

"Okay! Okay! It never happened. Are you happy now?" Peeta raised both of his arms in defeat.

"Very!"

"Good!" He stole a kiss.

"I don't want you to be upset on our anniversary. You know as an actual couple..." he continued

"But our anniversary is not until Friday." she stated.

"So? No one ever said that it can't be a week celebration."

"Oh Peeta..." She smiled sweetly at him.

"Come with me out in the back. I have a surprise for you."

Katniss followed her boyfriend to the back room. Peeta went to the fridge then grabbed a tall white cake box. He removed the lid and took out the contents of the box. It was a two-tiered cake covered in a mint green fondant and was decorated with light yellow sugar primroses and molding chocolate foliage. It was simple, elegant and beautiful.

"Do you like it?" he asked.

"Like it? Peeta I love it!" she hugged him in glee.

"I'm glad. I really worked hard on it too. It's a red velvet cake with a cream cheese and ganache filling." he stated.

"Well, let's have a slice then." she said.

Sometimes their thoughts get the better of them; they recall their sufferings and they would sometimes "observe" other people too much but this day was theirs. They are together and happy and right now that's the only thing that matters to both of them.

* * *

**This was originally suppose to be just a discussion between Peeta and Katniss regarding Effie and Haymitch's relationship but I wanted to add more depth to Peeniss as well so I added the part about the cake.**

**I hope you guys like this one. Your reviews are much appreciated.**


	13. Should I?

**Sorry, I haven't updated for a while... Anyways, I would say this is about 15-18 months since the 1st chapter.**

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Effie's POV

I picked up the silver envelope from my mailbox. It was an invitation to a dance in the Capitol celebrating Panem's new government. These parties are quite common; ever since the new government's establishment the whole of Panem can't get enough of these celebrations.

I sat down on the couch and took a sip of tea before reading the invitation more thoroughly. My eyes glanced over the scented paper and my eyes fell on the typed words that says that my attendance was mandatory. I wonder if Haymitch is required to attend as well; I'm certain he also got an invitation.

I have to prepare either way; not only is it in the Capitol but I'm also required to attend so this must be a really grand celebration. I have to look my best.

I took another sip of tea before I allowed myself to relax. I imagined the party and how grand it would be but I mostly thought of my love. I thought of his strong arms guiding me towards the dance floor and how we would spin and dance. I can almost feel his touch and his warm breath against my skin.

I opened my eyes and went back to reality. There will be plenty of time to daydream later; for now I must get myself ready for work.

* * *

"You look great Effie." Katniss reassured me.

"Are you sure? I-I don't think I fixed my hair right." I said. I must look perfect for this occasion. I know that I pretty much look okay but 'okay' isn't just good enough for tonight- good enough for Haymitch.

"M-maybe I should wear a wig and I could use a little more foundation..." I stated.

"Oh Effie, you know just as well as I do that Haymitch prefers the natural look."

"Really? Are you sur-" I cut myself off as the full message of Katniss statement hit me straight in the face. I looked back at her and noticed the smirk on her face. She knows...

"H-how d-did you-" my shock prevented me from forming coherent sentences. I think she is laughing at my expression; which is extremely rude by the way.

"It's sort of obvious."

"R-really? D-does he know?" If Haymitch finds out I'm dead. I know it will be hard for him to love me back; it would be extremely difficult if not impossible and if my secret gets out that will be the end of our short-lived friendship.

"Don't worry, he doesn't. He's quite oblivious to the fact that you like him." she said.

I breathed a sigh of relief before adjusting my hair a little more. I guess this will do, Katniss is right he does prefer the natural look. I hope I look 'natural' enough for him.

The two of us walked to the train station. We all agreed to meet up there. From the distance I could make out two figures sitting down on the waiting area. Peeta was wearing an elegant dark blue which would complement well with Katniss' blue green dress.

Haymitch wore a black satin coat and trousers, he also wore a red silk necktie that was tucked under his gray vest. I can make out his well-chiseled body beneath those layers of fabric. I can almost imagine his warm embrace and his comforting touch. When he's with me I feel that nothing can harm me because I feel like we're the only people in this world and I know that I can move on and forget the past; he's my world.

"My little sugar cookie looks great!" Peeta exclaimed as he took Katniss' arm. Katniss blushed slightly from his gesture.

I glanced at Haymitch's direction and noticed that he was staring at me. Our eyes met and he immediately turned away. Did he not like my appearance?

"Y-you look pretty Effie..." he said. I whispered him a thanks then we all boarded the train. We talked but he didn't look at me in the eye for the entire trip. I guess he only said that I was pretty so that he wouldn't hurt my feelings. He should've told me the truth in the first place; it would hurt less.

* * *

Haymitch's POV

Effie looked gorgeous; her baby pink dress complemented well with her baby blue eyes. Her make up did the exact opposite of what it used to; instead of hiding her beautiful features it enhanced it. Her honey blonde hair sparkled like the sun and her eyes were like stars in the dark night sky. Whenever she's with me I feel that I can do anything because she gives me the strength and the will to change for the better; she's my strength.

But despite everything I cannot tell her my feelings, I'd rather us be friends than not at all. I know that she can never love me; I'm not good enough for her. I will only drive her further away from me if I tell her and I can't live without her anymore.

After a few moments the train stopped and we all got out. We walked towards the party's venue side by side. I stole glances at Effie but I never looked at her straight in the eye; I'm afraid that she'll notice.

The party was grand and lavish but not as lavish as the Capitol's many parties before the rebellion. We all sat in one table. The food was great but the liquor was even better and I had a couple of shots but just a couple. A slow song started playing

I glanced towards Effie's direction and she was looking back at me. I tried to turn my gaze away from her but I was too enraptured to do so. We got lost in each other's eyes... Her eyes looked like they were begging; it's like she's asking me to dance with her.

I was torn; I want to but what if I do something stupid? What if she finds out about my feelings? This sucks! Should I ask her to dance?

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**Again, sorry for the long update (mental block sucks -_-) Anyways, I hope you guys like it. Your reviews are much appreciated.**


	14. More than a Dance

**Man, I need this... I must drown myself in Hayffie feels. I can't tell anyone though... I just have to clear my mind RAWR!**

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Effie's POV

We were left alone in the table I looked at him and he caught me staring. I think it's just my imagination but I saw a spark in his eyes; a spark of love. Maybe there's a chance for he to love me back... No, that's very unlikely. I was the embodiment of everything he hates; why on earth would he love me?

But I still begged to the heavens for this night. I just want one dance from him; something that I can savor for my entire life. I promise that it will be enough. I shall not confess my feelings; the stakes are way too high. I dare not to gamble our friendship for such an absurd possibility.

Moments later he broke away from my gaze then he turned around and walked towards the bar. I can tell from his expression and from the movement of his lips that he ordered the strongest one that they have. Is he really so abhorred by me that he would rather give in to alcohol instead of spend time with me?

Maybe Katniss was wrong. Maybe I made it too obvious. It's possible that he knows about my feelings. I'm usually good at masking my emotions so why can't I hide my feelings from him? Is it possible that I am so stupidly enamored that I can't even assess my emotions anymore?

I just lost one of my dearest friends; I was foolish enough to let my guard down.

I despised that man; I loathed his very being a couple of years ago so why do I feel like this now? Why do I love him and why am I so hurt by this? Fate certainly has a dark sense of humor.

Neither one of us danced that night. He spent the whole night drinking while I sat at our table plucking out the petals from the roses on the centerpiece. I know better than to do that of course; I know how expensive these flower arrangements are. I appreciate all of the expensive glamorous stuff here; I even scolded Katniss when she stabbed a mahogany table, yet here I am now- destroying expensive Capitol paraphernalia. What has this world come to?

I tore each petal with spite. I just have to get it all out right now and I can worry about the flowers later. I observed each one of them bleed out the red sap from the tear. They stained the white satin table cloth but I really don't care anymore.

"Effie? Are you okay?" I saw Peeta approach the table and sit next to me.

"I'm fine. Just getting a little headache from all of the excitement. Where's Katniss?" I asked. I could tell that he didn't believe me but he seemed to shrug it off.

"She's trying to get Haymitch away from the mini bar." he said. I glanced towards their direction. Haymitch slumped on one of the seats, Katniss was trying to get him away from his glass and I must say she's not doing a very good job.

"Whoa! What happened here Effie?" Peeta finally saw the wreckage that was once a beautiful flower arrangement.

"It's okay... It's not like it's mahogany or something like that..." I replied jokingly in an attempt of lightening the mood. It obviously didn't work and Peeta just gave me another concerned look.

"You're definitely not yourself today." he stated. He had a concerned look on his face but I do not plan on telling him my predicament.

I find my behavior very immature. Peeta's right I am not myself today; I'm not the pristine, well-behaved and somewhat-hedonistic Effie Trinket. I don't even know who I am now. He didn't dance with me yet- so what? The night is young and that's no excuse to destroy flowers. What a lovely arrangement that was too but I do not feel an ounce of regret. I keep telling myself that was wrong but I just don't regret it; I feel like ripping more flowers in fact.

"That's an understatement." I replied.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.

What am I suppose to tell him _'Haymitch didn't dance with me so I destroyed the flowers and stained the table cloth in a fit of rage?' _No, that's a bad idea. I refuse to say anything to Peeta. I'm suppose to be a role model to him and Katniss. What will he think then he hears about my rather shallow problem.

"I'm fine really, just a little tired." I lied.

"O-okay then."

We didn't converse any further. I watched Katniss and Haymitch from the distance; she was still trying to get him to stop drinking. I can't believe all of our efforts were wasted. Oh well, maybe he forgot about all of my feelings because of the alcohol. It's not bad to hope.

"Maybe I should go there and help Katniss." I said as I walked away from the table and towards the bar.

I walked towards them and gave Haymitch a stern look.

"Oh great! Come to join the party, princess?" I could tell that he was being sarcastic. When he gets drunk nothing will keep him away from his beloved liquor.

"Haymitch, stop it. I thought you promised to stop." I said.

He stood up and took a step towards me.

"You would not understand Effie..." he said with disdain in his tone. he took another step forward while I stepped back. He moved forward while I kept stepping back. I then felt my back hit the wall. I felt his hands on my shoulders and I felt his warm alcohol breath against my face.

"H-haymitch! W-what are you-" I was cut off.

He caught me by surprise as he pressed his lips against mine. He was drunk and I was still upset; I should've shoved him off me but I didn't. I closed my eyes and savored the moment. His breath stank of alcohol but it's warmth was soothing and his lips felt like heaven against mine.

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**AHHHH FEELS! *Ahem***

**No, they are not a couple yet in this chapter. (it would be too simple if I did that)**

**Thank you to Savysnape7,fludernutter01,katy, Tinker178, TheGirlWhoWasOnFire21, kataragurl27, Ember, pinkish-red hearts and Hiding in the Shadow. Your reviews are much appreciated :D**


	15. Your thoughts

Effie's POV

Last night felt like a hazy dream. I was not myself and Haymitch-well he kissed me. No one was around at that area at the time just me, him, Katniss and the bartender who was too busy wiping off the spilled liquor to care. It's better that way; that kiss means nothing to him anyways.

He was drunk; he didn't know what he was doing. He will most likely forget it even. It felt good; his lips were warm and sweet despite the after taste of alcohol but he wasn't sincere. It meant nothing to him so I should just shrug it off but it wasn't that easy. I was sober so I felt the kiss; I savored each taste and each feeling. It's hard to classify that as an insignificant action.

It shouldn't be like this; I should be moving on with my life and be happy but instead I am now haunted by the dark shadows of torture and the fear of loosing someone I can't possibly live without.

The sweet heaven I tasted yesterday; it's memories now feels like bitter hell. It hurts knowing that it wasn't sincere and it hurts that he can turn away from me at any given moment. How can the man that once gave me the strength to carry on is the very reason of my broken state?

No, I have to be mature about this. I'm acting like a high school girl that was rejected by her crush. How immature, brash and childish of you Effie! Just shrug it off like a proper, well-mannered and mature woman that you are.

Maybe I need a distraction. Mother has been nagging me to get my masters degree and I do plan on getting it before I reach 30. Education, it will keep one's mind off things; it always has been. It's just too bad I have to spend less time at Peeta's bakery. He's a nice boy, I'm sure it will be okay with him. It's settled then, I'm going back to school.

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Haymitch's POV

I had the most wonderful dream last night; it felt almost real but I couldn't remember going home and it really sucked when I woke up and found myself back at at my own bed with this massive hangover. Oh well, no use putting thought into something that's not real.

I took a pill for my headache before I went out to feed the geese. I can still remember her first encounter with my geese. I found it funny then but now that I look back on it; she was rather cute that day. I wonder if she will ever get along with them. Effie is not really the type of person to be good with handling animals.

I then saw Peeta wave at me. I signaled him to enter the gate.

"What brings you here?" I asked.

"I just came by to check if you're okay." he replied

"Why? Why wouldn't I be?" I gave him a questioning look. Why would he check on me? It's not like I can't take care of myself now that I've sobered up.

"You can't remember? You got drunk and fell unconscious at yesterday's party."

"Oh, well I'm fine now so don't you mind me." I said as I went back to attending to my geese.

"Hey, can I get a drink of water? It's a really hot day today."

"Yeah, sure. Let's go inside." I led him in and allowed him to sit on the couch. I handed him a nice cold glass of water before I took a sip of my brandy.

I then recalled what he said earlier. It turns out that the party was real; it wasn't just a dream. But how real is it? Did I really kiss her yesterday? It felt too fantastic; it felt so real yet it also felt like a dream.

"Hey Peeta, how about we play a game?"

"What game?" he gave me a questioning look. I wasn't really the type of person who would request for games.

"Real or not real." He seems to understand then he gave me a nod. I started to ask him a few questions; just a few stuff I thought happened.

"There was a party at the Capitol yesterday. Real or not real?"

"Real"

"I got drunk at that very party."

"Real"

"Katniss tried to stop me."

"Real"

My heart pounded heavily against my chest and my palms started to sweat. a part of me doesn't really want to know the answer but there's no turning back now.

"Effie kissed me. Real or not real?"

"Not real"

"I kissed her."

"Real" he smirked at me. Oh crap! Effie's probably mad-no furious. I bet she doesn't even want to see my face anymore. I have really done it this time.

"Don't look at me like that Peeta." I said sternly.

"What look?" he replies defensively.

"That look." I replied.

"But this is how I always looked." he reasoned.

I got impatient with him so I got up and walked back to the kitchen to grab another bottle. Sometimes that boy gets into my nerves. The moment I got back he was annoying me once again.

"Haymitch, if you love her why don't you just tell her!" he exclaims.

"Love who?" I of course knew who he was talking about. I just didn't want to talk about her. I know that she can never love me. Why would I tell her then?

"Effie Trinket!" he exclaims. I knew it. Did I really make it that obvious? I already made the mistake of kissing her yesterday. Great! She probably hates me now...

"I never said that I love her." I stated. I never did and I doubt that I ever will. It's just better that way.

"You never said that you didn't." he replied.

"Get off my case, Peeta!" I exclaimed. He seemed to be taken aback by my outburst. Good!

"Alright, just think about it okay?" he said.

"Yeah, fine, whatever..."

He left soon after and I found myself alone with my thoughts. What the hell am I going to do about Effie? I broke my promise plus I kissed her too. Darn it! Will she even talk to me? Can she forgive me? Damn! I swear I won't be able to live with myself if I drive her away.

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**Your reviews are much appreciated ^_^**


	16. University of Panem

**Sorry for the long update but it's uploaded now :D Please review if you have time**

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Effie's POV

Weeks have passed and we both made it out like nothing has happened that night. I do not even know if he knows, maybe Peeta or Katniss told him but I am not positively sure but nevertheless I'm glad that the "thing" somehow managed not to destroy our friendship. It is better to be friends than have no relation at all, correct?

The Capitol is just a few hours away now. Katniss, Peeta and Haymitch will be gravely missed but I will come home on the weekends. My mother persuaded me to stay of course, but I couldn't live in the Capitol anymore; it's not my home.

I got up from my seat and strolled around the train; this was the very same one that took 12's tributes to slaughter, the very same one that got me to my new home after the rebellion and the same one that took us to the party where Haymitch gave me a kiss. In a way, this train was a part of me- this was where I experienced the good and the bad.

It pulled to a stop and I looked out of the window; the Capitol is fully restored to it's original grandeur but that doesn't matter for I know that beneath all that sparkle there is a dark past that's filled with death, betrayal and corruption. I hope that that will never happened again. No one deserves the kind of torture I and the other captives endured and no one deserves to die in a war.

I got out of the train and I headed straight to the University of Panem. Although my memories are quite foggy, I can recall taking the entrance exam in the said university; I can't quite remember some of the details though. I passed but I chose not to go there. Nevertheless, this is my school now.

Outside the university was well decorated. A gold and silver plated fence surrounded the campus, it's name up in the front was made out of gold-plated metal. The walls were made out of marble and the windows were made out of laminated glass. I walked inside and I searched for my room.

I took a seat in the second row of the classroom. There were just a few of us in the class; it's not really surprising. With the Capitol being restored and everyone trying to recover; education must be the last thing on their minds right now.

I looked around the classroom. We were all seated in individual desks; each having a built in computer inside of them; this would eliminate the need to take down notes by hand and we would all need to type out our notes and save them in individual disks. Directly in front of me a big LCD touch screen that was almost the same size of the wall was installed; this was always used for lectures and discussions.

After a few minutes our professor entered the room; he was a well-groomed man with brown eyes hidden beneath silver-rimmed glasses, black hair with silver highlights and he was wearing a black satin suit. He looked familiar but I couldn't really recall who he was or where we met. He walked towards the huge screen, looked at the class and I could have sworn he smiled at me when our eyes met.

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Haymitch's POV

"Damn! It's my fault isn't it? Why she moved away..." I muttered as I took a swig of bacardi.

"Haymitch, you're jumping to conclusions. Maybe she just wanted a distraction." stated Peeta.

Yes, of course I know that she did it to distract herself but I also know that the purpose of that was to distract herself from me. What else could it be? I blew it! I'm nothing but a worthless drunk!

"Just leave me alone Peeta! Effie deserves to be with someone better than me!"

"You're just drunk. That's why you think like that. Clear your head." Peeta sighed and tried to get the bottle away from me; his efforts were in vain though for I tightened my grip on the bottle. It's my only comfort now that Effie's gone, how dare he tries to take it away from me. I am nothing without my alcohol.

"Effie's gone!" I exclaimed.

"Haymitch, you're exaggerating. She'll be back during the weekends." he stated matter-of-factly.

"Whatever..."

He sighed in annoyance and walked away. I followed him with his sight and noticed Katniss standing there. "He's just drunk. His head will probably clear out when he's sober..." I heard him whisper to her.

"What will Effie say when she hears about this?" She said in reply. I can detect the concern in her tone. Why is that? Does she feel pity towards me; knowing that Effie would most likely abhor me once she hears about my current condition? I don't need anyone's pity! How will her pity help me?

Several hours after they have left I found myself sitting in the same spot I did since this morning. Yes, Peeta was right. I'm just drunk; I'm just a worthless drunk. If it wasn't for me; maybe 12 will have more live tributes, maybe my brother would've had a chance to grow up, maybe my mother could've had the peace she always wanted, maybe my ex-girlfriend would've had the family she deserved, maybe thousands of lives would've been spared in the rebellion, maybe Effie wouldn't have been tortured so severely, maybe she would've been happier.

It's all my fault; if I hadn't won the games, if I didn't help with the rebellion none of this would've happened. I had never done anything right and now all my deeds have caused me my current suffering; the one that I have suffered from for more than twenty-six years. A drunkard; that's all Katniss, Peeta and Effie see in me, that's all I see in me.

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**A little short but I'm quite satisfied with this chapie. Anyways, please review when you have time :D**


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